Crash
by LoveMeDead79
Summary: Because she was afraid of knowing how good forever could be. Spashley, KylaMadison. AU


_This is just a short prologue of sorts - a look into the future at what is to come. I hope this is enough to catch your interest and make you want to read what happened leading up to this mess :) Just a few details because I guess this is just a little vague: Spencer is a year older than Ashley, their parents were besties so spence and ash have known each other their whole lives and beside Spencer, Kyla (and in a weird, just roll with me on this, kind of way, so are Madison and Aiden) is Ashley's numero uno, they are extremely close._

_T Rating (for now, will become M in later chapters), because of the language and... sexual situations, duh._

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This situation had become so familiar now that Spencer really didn't want to go any further because she knew exactly what came next - rejection. Not a flat-out, 'get the fuck off me Spencer', but it may as well have been. The distant implications were always enough for her to realize that, once again, this wasn't going any where past wet kisses and a few daring touches. Spencer's fingertips grazed the cold metallic of Ashley's belt's buckle, "Are you sure?" The words were accompanied by a puff as her heated breath mingled with the numbing air. The sight captivated Ashley for a moment, her dark eyes following the thin haze as it drifted skyward. "How is it this cold on the beach?" she muttered absently, nonchalantly, as though she were making awkward pleasantries with a stranger – instead of possibly sliding into third base with her best friend.

The bland words stung worse than if Ashley had slapped Spencer's trembling hand away. So she let go.

"Are you serious Ashley?" the distant girl snapped back to reality, catching the seething, glazed over eyes that belonged to someone she used to relate as something akin to sister. "Do you even know what this means? Do you even _care_?" Ashley's heart dropped to her feet and she looked away, this time finding interest in the loose string dangling from the bottom hem of her t-shirt. Spencer let out an astonished breath and shot backward, leaving a painful four or five feet between them. Ashley stared at the empty space and thought back to their childhood; when Ashley was just a toddler she couldn't sleep if Spencer wasn't lying right next to her, when her very first day of kindergarten came and she cried because Spencer couldn't be there to hold her hand the entire time, and even now, at seventeen, they were almost always shoulder to shoulder.

"Of course I care," she whispered, locking eyes with her, "You know what you mean to me."

There was a moment of silence and all Ashley could hear was the rhythmic spray of wave after wave crashing against the shoreline and Spencer's ragged breathing. "Then _why _are you doing this to me?" she began slowly, the hurt bleeding through every single word, "Why do you always fuck with my head like this? Why do make me think that you feel the same way you know I do and then change your mind and act like it didn't happen?" She was finally letting it all out; everything she had been feeling the past few months just surged up from her heart and now that the walls had come crashing down she couldn't stop.

"What I mean to you?" she basically screamed and Ashley flinched, "It must be a whole hell of a lot if you can keep leading me on without a second thought!" Spencer shot to her feet and Ashley just watched in shame and shock as her usually calm and reserved friend broke down. "I-I…" she sputtered helplessly, but had no idea what to say because she was absolutely right.

"You only care about yourself Ashley and… and it makes me fucking sick to think that it took me this long to figure that out!" Spencer was sobbing now, trying to find her sweatshirt and tank-top amongst the clutter of the beach house veranda, "Seventeen fucking years Ashley! I've known you your entire life, we have been though everything together and you can still sit there and make me want you so badly that it hurts after I've been trying for so long to get past my feelings for you so we could stay as close as we were!"

_Were_. As close as they were. Ashley couldn't hold the self despising tears back any longer. They slid down her damp cheeks and she watched them puddle on the floor.

"Spencer, it's not like that, I swear! I just…" she was at a loss. How could she possibly explain the fear she had. The fear that kept her from the happiness she knew she wouldn't have with anyone but Spencer.

"I'm sorry."

Spencer held the clothes tightly against her throbbing chest as though her heart would burst though her sternum if she didn't. "That's just not enough Ash…"

She slid the shirt over her head and walked towards the steps leading to the sand without a word. Then as she stood at the railing, her foot planted firmly on the first tread she turned slightly, but not enough to see the broken hazel eyes she knew so well, "I love you Ashley. I always have."

And Spencer was gone heading towards Chelsea and Glen's cabin with dry eyes because she had absolutely nothing left.

Ashley sat motionless, tears still streaming down her face and a fresh, gaping hole in her heart.

"What the fuck is all the screaming about?" Kyla burst thought the front door, a flaking green cleanser mask covering her face and adorned in a white bathrobe, "It's four in the god damn morning!" She saw Ashley's back and stepped forward, noticing the absence of a certain blonde, "Where's Spencer?"

Ashley stood, without a word, and ran. She kept running even as Kyla screamed her name and attempted to follow. But eventually she stopped, breathless, and Ashley went on. She ran until her lungs burned so badly she couldn't move and the scenery was completely unfamiliar. Her legs gave out near the slope of a hill leading up to the trail and back to the road. It wasn't sleep that overtook her, it was pure black. She fell unconscious in the sand until Aiden and Kyla found her an hour later and carried her back to the house - completely oblivious to the hell Ashley had opened.

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**Reviews **would be extremely appreciated :)


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